Violence Against Women - Do They Like Encourage It

There are numerous situations that result in violence against women. There is the kind of violence that is what I would call "spontaneous", is an attack on any woman on the street.

That kind of violence isn't what I'll be dealing with, but the kind that manifests itself with results of hospital visits or the law officer's intervention.

Allow me to state upfront that I am against ALL kinds of violence, whether political, son or daughter, IPV, verbal, economic or elsewhere.

IPV [Intimate Partner Violence] is predominant in all stratum of society. One's income streams will not exclude the gravity of the problem.

Some years ago my next door neighbour's son was married in a beautiful Hindu wedding ceremony. She was a stay-at-home wife typical of the tradition that obtained at the time.

Soon one could hear the sounds of beatings as if the wonder-bride was relegated to being a "tassa drum. " This continued for some months until the wonder-bride jumped through the bedroom window during a beating, landed on the kitchen roof, and made good her escape. I have not laid my eyes on her since.

The causal factor in the partnership I later learnt was the gentleman's mother. His working in the grocery all day and the daughter-in-law not bowing to her mother-in-law's every whim and fancy had her "carrying news" on the wonder-bride. These tidbits the mother told her son of which he believed, hence the severe beatings.

A female calypsonian once used these lyrics in her ditty. "Dog does run away, cat does run away, so woman put some wheels on your heels". I endorse that point 100%. A woman is God designed and God created to be described as a HELPER for man. Not a servant but an equal partner to assist him and he her within their journey across the lifespan.

I grew up within an era where male dominance was still being promoted. But my dad said to us his offspring that our mother was the Queen of the home. At that time I did not sense it nonetheless it grew on me when I had my own home.

Some women that are in a IVP situation are bound in her space by the cultural patterns that obtain in their society. Who can she turn to if she vacates her space? But I say this the economic potential of these countries could explode once these women are freed from their chattel existence.

The major factor in the IVP thing is man's longing to be "macho". But that "macho" lifestyle goes against all forms of co-habitation.

I lived with a lady who bore four children for me personally who was in a IVP situation before we met. I later learnt from her during our many bedroom talks [she was afraid to speak elsewhere of it] of the many atrocities that was she submitted to.

I will draw an example from our journey together to illustrate how devastating an effect on a woman's psyche or for that matter anyone IVP effects.

I was a cigarette smoker at the time, and while lying on the bed together having a casual conversation I would obviously reach to the head-board to get my smoking paraphernalia. Every time I did this she would flinch. It took her about five years to release from her mind that whenever I raised my hand was not going to her.

We underestimate as men the consequence that IVP has on our ladies and by extension our offspring. This fighting to control is never healthier.

I once read a case history of a couple having issues and one night the husband choked and raped her in the current presence of their 12 year-old son. He used a idn poker and struck him on the head she got up and kicked him all over, grabbed her purse and boy an ran.

I sense you will say that women are IVP perpetrators too. It is on both sides of the divide, however it leans heavily in favour of the lady. Protect them and our youngsters. I will write on female partner violence down the road

Time to fully stop the violence.